I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
