Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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