I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can I color on your dick again?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
3 2 1 whiskey
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
