if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
