Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize