I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
