the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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