Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
