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• (310): View more from California

  my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook

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• (752): View more from California

  What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?

  (209): View more from California

  I think the two go hand in hand.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  This might be the worst thing you've ever done.

  (281): View more from Texas

  Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace

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