also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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