dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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