I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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