I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I understand Curling. That high.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
