Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
