i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize