people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
