what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize