if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
