I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
should my penis look like a turkey
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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