No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He felt like a one man threesome
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
