Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
