What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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