you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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