question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
