I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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