Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
