we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
