am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
