Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
