yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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