I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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