my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
