I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
