And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
