hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
