I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
