Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize