At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
