Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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