nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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