He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
