Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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