Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
