I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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