I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
