My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
