would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
