I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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