I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have aggressive nipples.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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