I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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