What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
