Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
