yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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