I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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