we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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