I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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