Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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